Family Feud: Genesis 16:4-6

Sarai's maidservant Hagar became pregnant when Abram took control of producing an heir.  Taking control made good sense at the time.  God said Abram would have an heir and this was a very pragmatic way to get that done.  But disaster awaits us when we try to do things according to our own wisdom and sensibilities instead of doing things God's way.

At the end of verse 4, Hagar begins to despise Sarai.  This doesn't require a great leap of imagination to visualize.  Suddenly, Hagar's status had been elevated from maidservant to heir-producer.  I can picture the hurtful things she must have said to Sarai.  And I can imagine Sarai didn't hold back in her responses.  These are not good conditions for a peaceful domestic environment!

Sarai reported to Abram and placed all the blame squarely on his shoulders in verse 5.  I've talked about his fault in this situation  (he stopped listening to God and listened to Sarai instead) so he certainly deserves blame for the situation.  However, this was originally Sarai's plan.  She is the last person who should point fingers of blame.

It is clear that Abram has returned to his passive stance (where is the family protector we saw when Lot was in trouble?).  I don't imagine Hagar would have gotten very far in her mistreatment of Sarai if he had cared enough to involve himself in the squabble early on.  And, his passivity extended to the solution as well.  Instead of taking responsibility for the mess and using his authority to produce a comprehensive solution, he told Sarai to do whatever she wishes with Hagar.  Now that he had what he wanted (an heir) it seemed he had little regard for the feelings of the people who were hurting because of it.

So, in order to quickly restore peace to his family, Abram quickly (and ironically) relinquished control.  Sarai used her new authority to terribly mistreat Hagar.  Apparently, Hagar was so mistreated that she had to flee the camp.  It is also ironic that there is no mention of Abram pursuing Hagar since her departure meant his unborn heir was leaving too!

What a mess!

But we shouldn't expect anything other than a mess in this situation.  Abram desired the fulfillment of the promise more than he desired God (an important detail we will look at again a little later).  He also believed that he had the best way of bringing about the promise.  Instead of patiently waiting for God to fulfill the promise like He said He would, Abram acted for himself and by himself.  His focus was on self and self ONLY.  

Once again, sadly, I can see so much of myself in the way Abram acted here.  He is grasping, prideful, callous, self-interested, passive, cowardly, and uncaring.  And my default is to be all these things too.  Thankfully, just like Adam and Eve's story, God didn't abandon Abram.  He will faithfully bring about the promise.  And, thankfully, God doesn't abandon me either - no matter how much I might deserve it.  God's good, gracious, and faithful character has not changed.